This got me thinking…don’t we all have trouble listening? I mean, REALLY listening to each other…looking deep into someone else’s eyes while they are speaking to us and giving them our full attention. Sadly, I know I am as guilty as anyone. My mind is always running through one list or another; pondering any number of half-baked ideas, pantry and refrigerator inventories, chores left undone, or follow-ups that need to be made. To focus all my time and energy on one person’s thoughts, even for a few minutes, seems nearly impossible and certainly unproductive. In this day of constant multi-tasking, over-indulgence, excessive stimulation, and the media onslaught driving us to believe we are never good enough, how could we possibly take the time necessary to actually CONNECT with someone??
While hearing is a gift, listening is a skill. It can and should be taught, practiced, and frequently evaluated. The time we spend listening is an investment in the relationship; whether it be parent/child, husband/wife, employer/employee, or between friends. At the end of the day, each of us wants and needs to be valued; to know that our feelings, opinions, concerns, observations, and talents are appreciated and respected. So often we are distracted by any number of outside influences (technology, our own selfishness or ego, lack of interest or understanding), we aren’t even aware our listening skills have been compromised. It’s not until a later conversation references part of a missed discussion that our error becomes glaringly apparent.
When we listen to each other, we connect on a different level. Not only are words and conversations exchanged, but we are bonding on an emotional plane; each of us enriched by our shared time together. An instant of sincere eye contact, an hour-long phone conversation, an uninterrupted discussion, a requested task completed without a reminder, can all be displays of our intent listening skills. Even a gentle hug or kiss reminds us someone is listening…because we don’t just listen with our ears, but also with our hearts.
Let's challenge ourselves to not just hear, but to listen. Take note of how many times we have to ask for clarification or repeated instruction. On the flip-side, how many times do we have to repeat ourselves before we are genuinely heard? Daily, we need to evaluate our listening skills and take the necessary action to improve. After all, if we aren’t willing to take the time to honestly and devotedly listen to those seeking our counsel, how can we slight them for doing the same to us?