There were also no titles. No vice-presidents. No directors. No managers. Just the owners and then the rest of us. How cool is that??!!
Well, things change…as is often the case. The company grew and personnel changed. We recently acquired another company and with that acquisition, came an opportunity to overhaul some internal processes and procedures. In the guise of “simplifying” things, we each needed to submit our own titles for approval and implementation. Oh, Lord.
All of a sudden, everyone wanted to be a ‘Manager’ or ‘Director’ or ‘Coordinator’. It was no longer good enough to be just a member of the Customer Service or Accounting Team. One had to be ‘Senior Lead Account Manager Specializing in Returns and Discrepancies’. Seriously??!! If elongated, overly-specific titles could result in an inflated sense of self-worth, perhaps we could also expect monetary compensation for these newly defined job descriptions. NOT.
But, this process got me thinking. What titles apply to me? Which ones would I give myself and which ones would be given to me? Which ones am I most proud/ashamed of? Which ones do I currently hold and which ones do I aspire to?
The ones I am most proud of are also the ones I refer to most often and they are the easiest to pinpoint:
First and foremost: Child of God. He created me. He sustains me. He forgives me and he carries me. I can do nothing without Him.
Secondly: Wife. The day I became a Mrs. and took my husband’s name, my identity changed…for the better. No longer was I living just for myself. I now had a partner in this game called ‘Life’ and together we continue to find our way; just us against the world!
Third: Mother. I can no more separate myself from the title ‘Mama’ than I can stop loving my boys. Mothering and all it entails is a full-time, 24-7, can’t-turn-it-off kind of being. It’s the toughest, most consuming and most rewarding job there is. And I wouldn’t trade it for the world!
Of course, within ‘Wife’ and ‘Mother’ a heap of sub-titles come quickly to mind: homemaker, financial counselor, disciplinarian, cheerleader, meal planner, trip advisor, gift buyer, grocery shopper, bill payer, nurse, lost item finder, pet caretaker, taxi driver, teacher, student loyalist, defender, devotion leader, task master, life coach, and listener. The list goes on and on.
Just under these, Daughter, Grand-daughter, Sister, Aunt, Friend, and Employee, also apply.
Besides improving on all of the above, I aspire to add ‘Accomplished Photographer’, ‘Exercise Enthusiast’, ‘Source of Inspiration’, ‘Acclaimed Cook’, and ‘Published Author’ to my list of titles someday.
Articulating those titles which cause me shame, is a more difficult, but necessary exercise. Liar, betrayer, grudge-holder, egoist, sore loser, extremist, skeptic, glutton, antagonist, blabbermouth, quitter, complainer, coward, cynic, bully. Though not all currently in play, these brands have applied in some form, at one point or another, and have left a permanent mark on my personality. Worn like the Scarlet Letter announcing my indignity, I work on shedding these badges of dishonor daily and deliberately.
With each successful de-titling, I learn more about myself. I become a stronger, more resilient version of me. Fading are the scars which hold me down, clutter my being and waste away my will. In their place, room for my heartsong to play!
So, what’s in a title? Everything and nothing at all. I am neither defined by nor constrained to my past, current or future titles. The weight placed on a title is completely self-imposed. We either buy-in to the significance (either real or imagined) of the words, valuing or de-valuing ourselves accordingly, or we decide titles are simply a focal point, helping us navigate toward our best rendering; serving as reminders of those traits which represent the finest or darkest parts of ourselves.
Hello. I am a...work in progress.